Pulse

I was confused… sad… weird

… I didn’t know what to do…

Everything was just so agitated and it felt like all the molecules in me were moving savagely in a complete rage and instability…

faster and faster…

And I couldn’t find my place, my peace until… until my ear came close to your heart and heard:

Pulse – pulse – and repeat…so calm… so organized.

So I organized my breath and let my mind loose to hear the pulses. Finally peace…

Finally, that air in and out in pulses cooled my body and I could feel you again:

warm… loving… with me…

But then I moved to kiss you… and our tongues became gradually cold.

My ear was away from your heart and I couldn’t hear it anymore – and the coldness of our tongues made everything noisy in me again.

I was lost… I am lost… like a dot of color in space, which you cannot find coordinates because it’s moving too fast –

I am lost in my life, and I need time for everyone to find... myself... I. Me.